Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lamest Pokemon of All Time (of the Week)

Week 1: Trubbish

I am a fan of the Pokemon series. With over 1000 hours total over seven respective games, some may call me an avid fan- but even a Pokefan of my caliber can't ignore that sometimes, the game designers just mail it in and create lame ass Pokemon. You can't blame them, after so many games there are well over 600 different kinds of the little critters. They can't all be badass.

My first Lame Pokemon of the Week is pokemon number 568: Trubbish, the Trashbag Pokemon. Yup, that's its species classification. They could have at least been clever and classified it as a “Hefty” Pokemon. According to its Pokedex entry in Pokemon White, this lil' fella is actually the product of actual bags of trash and industrial waste.Wait what?...Really?...

That seems pretty unsafe, don't you think? Small children shouldn't be capturing and handling a Pokemon that is mostly likely radioactive. It's definitely in the bargain isle of the Pet Store! “Here little Johnny, have this ominously glowing, mutated bag of crap as your best friend and travel companion... You may want this hazmat suit.”Trubbish appears in season 14, episode 12 of the Pokemon: Black and White Anime entitled “Here Comes the Trubbish Squad” in which 5 kindergarten students befriend a Trubbish at a junk yard, then proceed to take over and turn their school yard into a trash dump. Seems really, really unsanitary to me, but then again, I guess not because at the end of the episode, the teacher lets them keep it! Maybe she was suffering from the early onset of radiation poisoning and had a lapse in judgment.

Not only are there obvious hygienic issues at play here, but this thing also stinks! It smells like. Well, it smells like garbage. Wet, nasty garbage... Like the garbage from a Taco Bell that has been sitting in the sun for 2 weeks.... then irradiated. According to the Pokemon Black Pokedex entry, “Inhaling the gas they belch will make you sleep for a week.” Guess that could come in handy during nap time...

I'm not even going to touch the fact that this pile of trash evolves into an even bigger pile of trash. If Trubbish is awful and smelly, than #569, Garbodor, is even worse. But you can hit up Bulbapedia for more information on Garbodor (as if you would want it.) So here's to you, creator of Trubbish (and probably Garbodor as well), who obviously came up with the idea late one night, sleep deprived from working overtime creating new Pokemon, while taking out the garbage*. You probably should have kept this idea where it belongs.

*Garbodor was created when the bag broke. Haw-Haw!

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